Falling In love without him
by everlastingtrueromance
Summary: 19 Years later after Voldemort the Golden Trio is finally able to live in peace. Hermione and Ron are married,Harry & Ginny are married. Everyone is happy right? Wrong Hermione realizes she loves Harry and that he has always loved,what will they about it.
1. Prologue

**Falling In Love without Him**

**Prologue **

It had been 19 years since Harry Potter had defeated Lord Voldemort, and although many lives were lost that fateful day, lovers were finally united. The members of the Golden Trio were now all 32 years old, and married with a big family of their own.

Ron and Hermione were together, which was no surprise to anyone who knew any of the Golden Trio. Harry was with Ginny, Ron's little sister-who had loved Harry from the day she first met him at kings cross-everyone thought she was lucky living the fairy tale happy ending.

Ron and Hermione had two beautiful children, Rose was the eldest and she was quite like her mother, because she was a bright young witch just like her mother. Hugo on the other hand was more like his father, than his mother, he was a pansy sometime just like Ron had been. However he was very protective of his friends and family, he was very caring like his father and mother, and he would do anything or those dear to him. Both their kids were suborn, and had a huge temper like any Weasley family member.

Ginny and Harry had three beautiful children of their own, James Sirius Potter, Albus Severus Potter, and Lily Luna Potter. James was the eldest of the children, he was named after Harry's father, and Harry's Godfather, and he was very much like his paternal Grandfather, he loved trouble. Albus, (also referred to as Al), was named After Albus Dumbledore-the greatest wizard ever known-and Severus Snape-the bravest man Harry ever knew-,Albus was more like Harry and he and his father were the closest. Lily was named after Harry's mother, and after his good friend LunaScamander, she was very much like her Paternal Grandmother. Lily had her father's eyes same color and shape that he had got from his mother, and she had the same vibrant Red hair, only her was straight like her mothers. Harry was very protective of his little girl, he loved her dearly, and would die if anything happened to her, James and Albus were very protective of her since she was born. Lily was close to both of her parents, and was very bright like her Paternal Grandmother.

Both families were very content with their life, well at least the children were. After meeting at King's Cross to drop of their kids for train to Hogwarts, something changed for both families that very day, life would never be the same after this day.

Hermione felt as if she couldn't breathe when Harry came to stand next to her, she felt the familiar butterflies in her stomach, not sure as to why they were. Harry felt like he did when he had a huge crush on Ginny sixth year, when he used to stutter and shake with nervousness, it was an odd sensation for the two, because they were best friends.

Ron and Ginny felt the tension in the air between the two friends, but thought nothing of it, assuming they were just nervous about their kids going to Hogwarts, but that was typical for any normal parents, it was like programed in parent's heads to worry about their children, if not something was wrong with you.

However no one knew that this day would be the day everything changed for the four friends.


	2. CH 1: Strange feelings at King's Cross

**Hermione's P.O.V.**

Standing next Harry Potter-my best friend since our first year at Hogwarts- I was suddenly extremely nervous for a reason that I couldn't explain. I looked at Harry checking for any sign that he was feeling what I was feeling, but I saw no hint of this in his emerald green eyes.

Suddenly he caught me staring looking at him, and raised his eyebrows, curious about why I was studying his face so carefully. I suddenly eyes felt my cheeks turn a deep red, and I looked down at my feet hiding my eyes from him. I felt like a silly school girl embarrassed because she was caught stealing glances at her crush. Only this was Harry, Harry the boy who was my best friend, who I had always considered as more of a brother.

We were so close to each other, especially as we grew older and we needed advice about our love life. We were always there for one another, whether he or Ginny got into a fight, or when Ron and I had a fight of our own. Of course Ron and I fought all the time, and what normal couple did not fight often. I still loved him, the thing is that we never had fought this much before Hugo was born, after that we began to bicker back and forth with each other.

Sometimes-ok every month-when Ron and I would have these fights, it would get so bad that I would not want to be in the same house with him, and when this happened I would Owl Harry, and take the kids to Harry and Ginny's, I would stay till things were calmed down between Ron and I. Harry never had a problem with this, Ginny would threaten that she would talk some sense into her brother, because I would arrive with blood shot eyes, and tear stained cheeks. Ginny would take Hugo and Rose upstairs and give Harry time to comfort me-his best friend- he would hold me and stroke my hair, and utter soothing words to me as I would cry into his shirt, this happened every month.

I looked back up at Harry I once again thought that I saw pain in his eyes, as he looked at me, but I knew I was mistaken. "Hermione" he said pulling me out of my daze. I looked at him and smiled before answering him. "Hi harry, sorry I was just reminiscing about the good old days." I explained, smiling even more than before at him. "Oh I thought that something was wrong, because you were being awfully quiet, I just wanted to make you sure you were alright." Harry said smiling at me.

"Thanks Harry, it's just crazy our kids are already starting Hogwarts, besides Hugo and Lily that is, but they have grown up so quick Harry. It seems like only yesterday that Rose was 5, and Hugo was 4. I hope that she will stay out of trouble while she's at Hogwarts. I worry about her all the time; she's my baby girl. "I said trying to choke back the tears threatening to fall.

Harry threw his arm around me, and I stiffened a bit feeling a shock course through my entire body, seeping through my bones, and spilling into my blood, making its way to my heart. This was new, but I quickly shook away the feeling and snapped out of it as I leaned into him. I looked up at him, once again believing that there was pain in his eyes, and that I was causing this pain. Which was the most ridiculous idea to pop in my head, I was going mental, why would I be the cause of a pain, no I was imagining things again.

"Hermione Rose will be alright, she had an excellent mother to teach her how to behave, you did a wonderful job Hermione, she's a beautiful kid, and Hugo is as well, you should be so proud of yourself, and it's not easy believe me, I had enough trouble with James. That boy's middle name should be trouble, just like my dad and Sirius. Don't worry Hermione, she will be just fine, and if not Teddy will be there to keep the whole lot in line." He said chuckling at the thought.

I smiled "Thanks Harry I appreciate that, and you did a great job as well. Well I better get back to Ron, the trains about to leave soon. Thanks again Harry I know can always count on you." I said and I kissed his cheek. I could have sworn I saw him blush, but I once again shook of this idea. He nodded his head and waved goodbye to me.

I quickly hurried back to rejoin Ron and Hugo. We stood there together, and he put his arm around me, as we waved goodbye to Rose-who was beaming so bright, that she reminded me so much of myself at her age on my first day going to Hogwarts. I saw Harry waving to his sons Albus and James, and I saw that he was trying not to cry, I smiled at him understanding exactly how he felt.

**Harry's P.O.V.**

As Hermione stood beside me I noticed that she looked nervous, I figured it was about her daughter Rose. I couldn't help wishing that for once she would be nervous because I was there. I loved her, and she would never know.

I had only married Ginny because I wanted Hermione to be happy, even if that meant that she was with Ron instead of me. I was happy to have to have children though; I would never regret having kids with Ginny, because if I never had I would never have had James, Albus, and my little Lily Pad. Still if only I could have told Hermione how I felt when we were I held her in my arms, trying to comfort when Ron had took off on us-when he had been searching for horrocruxes- but of course I didn't.

I hated how he treated her; he would make her cry so often. She would show up at my house every month with Hugo and Rose, her eyes would be bloodshot and her cheeks stained with tears, and I would know automatically that she and Ron had had another fight once again. I would hold her wishing that I could be the one to make her smile, and make her heart beat quicken, but instead I would continue to hide my feelings and play my role as the best friend.

I noticed her looking at me carefully, she was studying my face so intently, that I doubted she even was aware of this, what she was searching for was unknown to me. I frowned at her confused, and she did something I have only seen her do around Ron, she blushed and looked down at her feet. I felt my heart break as she hid her face from me, and pretended to occupied with studying her shoes.

I waited till she looked at me again, and then I asked her if she was okay-well I was going to when she smiled at me- she explained that she was just simply nervous and reminiscing. I put my arm around her, attempting to comfort her, but I was hurt when she stiffened at my gesture, but then she leaned into me and all was well for the two of us again, and my heart was quickening once again, at the simplest touch that I was able to receive from her. She looked at me again, and I swear she could see the pain in my eyes, but she refused to believe she was the cause of my pain.

"Hermione Rose will be alright, she had an excellent mother to teach her how to behave, you did a wonderful job Hermione, she's a beautiful kid, and Hugo is as well, you should be so proud of yourself, and it's not easy believe me, I had enough trouble with James. That boy's middle name should be trouble, just like my dad and Sirius. Don't worry Hermione, she will be just fine, and if not Teddy will be there to keep the whole lot in line." I told her, and chuckled thinking of Teddy, so much like his father Remus, oh yeah he would keep the kids in line alright.

She smiled at me, God I could drown in those beautiful chocolate eyes; they were that enticing for me. Thanks Harry I appreciate that, and you did a great job as well. Well I better get back to Ron, the trains about to leave soon. Thanks again Harry I know can always count on you." she said and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and left. I hope she didn't see me blushing and feeling the cheek she had kissed, I hurriedly waved back to her.

I watched her walk back to Ron and her son Hugo, and Ron put his arm around her, as he did this I felt my heart breaking once more. I waved goodbye to Albus and James, joining Lily and Ginny. I saw Hermione out of the corner of my eye watching me, and I began to cry for my broken heart, and because my little Albus was on his way to his first year of Hogwarts. She smiled at me knowing exactly how I felt, as tears rolled down her cheeks as well.

"Daddy I want to go with James and Al. It's not fair I have to wait another year while they get to go practice magic, and I have to stay here not being able to perform one spell." Lily said crying.

"Oh my little Lily pad, your time will come baby, just be patient, ok. By the time you know it will be your first year at Hogwarts. I told her, pulling her into a hug, and kissing her hair. I was so protective of my little Lily; she was so much like my mum in her looks, with her kindness, and her intelligence. I would do anything to keep my precious baby daughter safe from harm.

"Lily it will be okay honey, I had to wait for my turn too, and I had six older brothers as you know. I mean won't you miss mummy and daddy when you leave for Hogwarts? You have one year with us all to yourself, it will be so much fun, and then you won't want to leave us." Ginny told our daughter.

She was a wonderful mother, and I once thought that I could forget Hermione and fall in love with her, but I didn't love her the way I loved Hermione. As cliché as it sounds, Hermione was my one true love, my soul mate. I tried to fall in love, but I have come to realize that love is not something that just be forced on someone. I would only see Ginny as a good friend and like a sister.

I knew I couldn't live without Hermione, and I knew that someday I would tell her how much I truly loved her, I would tell her that she made me the man I am today. For now I would keep acting like I didn't see Hermione in that way, and I would pretend I loved Ginny as much as I loved our kids, I would lie to myself.

I put my arm around Ginny, and faked a smile so that Hermione wouldn't see my pain, and as I looked over at her smiling with Ginny leaning into me, I swear I saw her smile, but this smile did not reach her eyes. Strange, there was no way on earth that I was causing this pain, so evident in her eyes.

**Hermione's P.O.V.**

As I looked at Harry I saw him smile, and put his arm around Ginny, I saw how happy they were, and for the first time I felt if some invisible force was pulling at my heart. It was the pain I used to feel whenever I would catch Ron and Lavender snogging back in 6th year-before we got together-only it was far worse, and I felt as if my heart was breaking.

"No." I said to myself, earning a questioning look from Ron. "What's wrong Mione?" he asked me, looking both confused and amused all at once. "Nothing Ron, just muttering to myself like usual, you know me, always talking nonsense to myself." I said faking a smile, and attempting a laugh, only it came out as forced laughter. "Okay, yeah that's nothing out of the ordinary for you." he said and leaning down to kiss me, before I could even utter a retort, but just as he was leaning down, I turned my head, so that he was only kissing my cheek.

He looked at me with a hurt expression on his face. "Sorry I just threw up, I wasn't feeling good" I said, and the lie had come so easily for me. Where did that come from? I asked myself. I never lie, especially not to my husband! What's happening to me? I wondered "Are you okay?" Ron asked looking worried. "Yeah, I'm fine now, just a little nervous, must have ate something bad" I said lying once again. "Well I'm going to use to restroom, I'll be back." I said and quickly hurried to the bathroom, casting a spell on myself, so that no one could hear me scream to myself.

"Oh my goodness, I'm in love with my best friend! I'm in love with Harry James Potter! I…this can't be happening, I love Ron, I have Rose and Hugo. Ron's my true love; it's always been him, since first year. I can't be in love with Harry, he's married as well, and he's Ron's best friend, the god father of my children. He love's Ginny, and she's my best friend, Lily, James, and Al would they would hate me if I broke up their mum and dad. Oh and Harry, he would hate me as well, and he would never talk to me again. I would lose both of my best friends and the love from my family. Oh God help me I love Harry Potter." I said, and thankfully no one was around to hear me ranting to myself, and the spell worked fine, otherwise the whole world would know of my confession.

I guess I had always known I loved Harry more than as just a friend, he was always there for me, and he made me feel special when no one else could, not even Ron. I returned to Ron and Hugo, and pretended like nothing was wrong, this was for the best. I couldn't ever tell anyone about my love my Harry, no would know, and all would be well.

Of course I knew that this would never work, it would only break my heart more, and one day I would blurt out my feelings, for now no one would know. I would lie to myself so that this way no one would get hurt, except me, oh well better me than the ones I loved, there was no way Harry would ever forgive me, because I knew he would never feel the same.

What had happened to me, I had everything figured out, and now hear I am wanting to divorce my husband because it was obviously not working the way it should, it hurt too much, if only I could find a way to not hurt anyone. Yeah that was likely never going to happen. All I can do I fake a smile, and hope no one especially Harry will see past my wall.


	3. Ch 2: Secrets

Chapter 2: Secret

The problem was that things were not all well, for both Harry and Hermione, and it wouldn't be for quite some time.

**Harry's P.O.V.**

I saw her mutter something, and watched as Ron give a her a strange look-as if she had been indeed talking to herself- he looked at her confused, and made a move to comfort her. She made gestures that meant nothing was wrong, and that she was just being silly, she was obviously trying to take Ron's attention away from her strange behavior. Ron looked amused, and seeing him like this, pissed me off, I would never have let Hermione make me drop a discussion concerning her, something could be wrong, and Ron was just pushing it off, like everything was fine and dandy, when it was clearly not.

Sometimes I wondered if she knew how I truly felt about her, I mean there were many times where I had made it obvious, but she still never seemed to notice. Take for instance, in 6th year, when Hermione had witnessed Ron Snogging Lavender Brown-this was back before Ron and Hermione were even together-she had run from the scene, and I had found her. She was crying and pretended to be practicing a charms spell; finally she asked me how it felt when I saw Ginny with Dean. I remember being shocked that she thought I was interested in Ginny Weasley, when I was so much in love with her.

Of course I had lied about and made it seem like it was extremely painful for me, I should have told her the truth and kissed her, so at least then then I could stop living in wait for her one day realizing that I was the one she truly wanted, not Ron. I panicked though, that if I told her, she might never forgive me, and I would lose her for good, all because of my stupid feelings.

When Ron leaned down to kiss her however, I noticed her turn her head so that he only kissed her cheek. She played it off like it was nothing, but Ron looked extremely hurt by her doing this. I on the other hand couldn't help myself, from doing a silent cheer in my head, and I couldn't help it when my heart raced with hope, a hope that she could love me. I saw her make an excuse for it, and Ron believed her once again,-that git- and she made a run for the bathroom.

When she finally returned half an hour later, she looked as she had finally won a battle with her mind; she was no longer in denial, of whatever it was that was arguing with herself about. I noticed though, that as she returned to Hugo and Ron that the look had quickly vanished, was replaced with a plastered on smile. She was pretending to be perfectly fine, when it was so clear to me that she was far from it. She was pretending for her husband and son that nothing was wrong.

What could be bothering her? Was she pregnant with another child? Did she not want another baby? And now she was going to play it off, and make it seem like she wanted another baby. Whatever it was I had to find out, I had to talk to her alone, just the two of us.

When Ginny, Lily, and I got, I ran to my room searching for a quill and a piece of paper, quickly jotting down a note to Hermione.

_Hermione_

_Please meet me at the Three broomsticks in about 10 minutes, we need to talk its urgent, no excuses, be there ASAP._

_Harry_

I quickly gave the note to Hermes my Owl. After Hedwig died, trying to protect me, I got a new owl, and named it Hermes, Hermes was a nickname you wouldn't be caught dead calling Hermione, she hated it, and I secretly named my owl after her, knowing she would never be suspicious.

"Hey Gin." I called down to Ginny. "Yes, Harry can you come down to the Kitchen, I'm kind of busy, and I would like to be able to understand what you're saying to me, I can barely hear you." Ginny said. I quickly came down stairs to the kitchen to continue talking to my wife. "Ah there you go Lily, no more snacks until after dinner." She told our daughter, - giving Lily one last cookie-then she turned to me. "Now what were you going to say Sweetheart?" she asked me.

"Um right, well I'm going to meet Hermione at the Three Broomsticks, she looked troubled about something today, and I'm going to see if I can find out what's bothering her, I should be back in about an hour." I told her, knowing she would have no problem with this, Ginny trusted me more than I could trust myself. "Oh alright dear, please do try to find out what's troubling her, you know I hate when my only sister, and best friend is hurt. Tell her I'm here for her as well if she needs me." She told me, I kissed her cheek and nodded at her request. I went to go ruffle my little Lily Pad's hair.

"Daddy you know I hate when you do that, now I have to fix my hair! If you keep doing that, I will never be able to get a boyfriend with my hair messed up." She said pouting at me. I chuckled kissing my little girls cheek, she was just too adorable. "Oh my little Lily Pad, your beautiful, there will be tons of boys at your door; you'll be a heart breaker." I told her. It was true, if she was anything like my mum and her mum, she would have tons of boyfriends. This seemed to make her smile. "Thank you Daddy, now go cheer up Aunt Hermione." She said, shoving me out the door, I chuckled, she was just like her mother, and she was like Hermione and mum in many ways as well.

I apparated to the Three Broomsticks found a table by the window, to sit and wait for Hermione to arrive. Immediately 10 minutes later, she arrived, she quickly found me placing a hand on her shoulder. I drank her in; she looked so beautiful, with her tame curls and beautiful brown eyes, and flushed cheeks, making her even more beautiful. Looking at her I could only hope that she would that would tell me the truth, so that I could find out what was truly bothering her.

**Hermione's P.O.V.**

I found Harry's note and told Ron I had to go meet a friend for coffee, and he said dinner would be ready when I returned. "Hugo behave for your father, and if the foods really terrible, you don't have to eat it. Your father did not inherit cooking from his mum." I told him in a serious tone, but chuckling a little, but low enough so that Ron couldn't hear us. "Okay mummy and I'll just tell daddy, if it's awful. I love you!" Hugo said. I chuckled and kissed his forehead before apparating. Unlike his father, Hugo loved calling his parents mummy and daddy, and was never embarrassed with it, he loved getting hugs and kisses goodbye and hello from his family. I loved my son and daughter so much, I would never regret my marriage with Ron because of our brought me my children. Sure I had loved Ron, but since Hugo was born, Ron and I had just fought begun to fight more than often. I started to fall out of love with my husband as the days progressed; now I knew that I had always been more in love with Harry than I had ever been with Ron.

Harry was sitting at a table by the window when I arrived; I walked up to him and laid my hand on his shoulder, stirring him from his thoughts. I wonder what he wanted to talk to me about that could be so urgent, did he know something that I didn't, had he figured out what I had just discovered, he couldn't there was no way I was that obvious about it, sure Ron was could thick sometimes, but even he would figure something out, if Harry did. There was only one way to figure out what was up.

"Hi Harry, you said you wanted to talk to me about something?" I asked him, looking into those beautiful green orbs, searching for something, anything, but I once again I found nothing, he was a closed book when It came to letting people know what was on his mind. "I wanted to tell you." he began and noticed I was still standing. "Well sit down first Hermione, I have no idea how long this conversation will be." He said sighing to himself. I sat down and looked at him, nodding my head for him to continue.

"Hermione today you looked like you were hiding something from Ron and Hugo. Hermione forgive me for what I'm about to ask you, but are you pregnant?" he asked, concern filling his face. I looked at him confused, and I was taken back that he would assume that the reason for my strange behavior was because I was pregnant. "Harry, of course I'm not pregnant! I don't plan on having any more kids, Ron and I am happy with just Rose and Hugo." I told him, which wasn't necessarily a lie, but if I had married harry I wouldn't mind another kid. I noticed that Harry was smiling now.

"Oh good that's a great Hermione, I thought that you were pregnant, but didn't want another child. I thought you were pretending to want to have a child, for the sake of Ron, I wouldn't want you to pretend to be happy about that. Sorry like I said I said, it was just the first thing I could think of." He told me, squeezing my hand. I felt that familiar jolt of electricity, course through my body again, once again I reveled in the shock of this simple touch, I wondered if he felt it as well, no he didn't there was no way he did.

"No Harry I assure you that being pregnant was not why I was acting strange to you." I told him, hoping that he wouldn't ask me anything else, and just drop the conversation, I had to leave otherwise I would do something that I might not even regret."

"Oh… then what's wrong Hermione? You can tell me anything you know that, and you don't want me to, then I won't tell, not even Ron and Ginny." He said. He was such a sweetheart to me. "It's nothing Harry, don't worry I'm fine, okay. Now I'll see you later since were um done here." I said looking down again, refusing to meet his eyes again. "No Hermione, don't lie to me, I know something is bothering you, please just tell me. You know I would never judge you, you're my best friend, and I would do anything for you." he said making my heart break, at what I wanted but what he couldn't give me.

"Harry please just drop it! I don't want to talk about it, if I told you Harry you would hate me, you would never look at me the same again." I told him wiping away the tears that were nearly falling down my cheeks.

"Hermione, I could never hate you! Now tell me." He said, grabbing my chin so that I was looking at him, he smiled at me and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. I faked a smile and he placed his hand on top of mine and laced his fingers through mine, gently stroking my hand with his thumb.

Before I knew what was happening I felt the familiar tug at my heart, and the electricity shot through once again. I grabbed his face in my hands, letting go of his hand. I pulled him to me and I did what I knew I shouldn't have done. I let go of everything for the first time in my life, and I kissed my best friend with all my might, the boy I loved, had always loved, I kissed him.

My lips smashed up against his for the first time, I didn't wait for a response from him, and I just continued kissing him, with no regret. I waited for him to push me away, and look at me with disgust and hate, but I didn't expect him to kiss me back and pull me closer. Our lips caressed each other's, and soon he had his hands tangled in my tamed brown curls, while mine that were once wrapped around his neck, they were now trapped in in his messy Jet black hair.

We kept kissing and then his tongue darted out of his mouth, to trace my bottom lip, seeking entrance to my mouth, which I happily granted him access to. As our tongues met in a dance, they entwined together as one, while our lips continued to caress each other's.

All I could think about while kissing Harry was that I had never been kissed like this before. This was a full on perfect frontal snog. I lost myself in the passion of our snogging, feeling my knees go weak, which had never happened before, man Ginny was one lucky woman. Finally after about 30 minutes of mind blowing snogging, we pulled apart from each other's lips.

"Harry I love you! That's why I was acting strange, I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same." I told him, looking into his eyes no longer afraid, but realizing that I had been right about seeing pain in his eyes, and I had caused it without ever being aware until now.

"I love you too Hermione, in fact I always have, your my love, my soul mate. I have loved you for so long, but you always liked Ron and you thought I was falling in love with Ginny. I have wanted to tell you for so long, but I was afraid like you, that I would be rejected, you would hate me and I would lose my best friend. I only married Ginny because I wanted you to be happy. It broke my heart to see you come to my house crying because of Ron was being a selfish git. Sometimes I hate him, for what he does to you, but he's my mate, you know me I could never hate Ron or anyone for that matter, except Voldemort. Hermione I wanted to tell you that I loved you at the Yule Ball and as I even more so as I danced with you after Ron left. You never left me my side as we hunted down Horcruxes, I couldn't believe it when I had to force you not to go with me, to be killed, but brought back to life to kill Voldemort. You had told me that you would go with me to die, and I should have told you then, not that I would come back to life, I'm glad I can tell you now my love," Harry said giving lips a quick peck.

I had never known, why had I never noticed it before until now, it was so obvious how much he loved me, how much I loved him. I guess we become so blind that we can't see what right there in front of our eyes, what's always been there.

"So what do we do now?" I asked him. "We live with no regrets, let's go and enjoy this, while were still with our spouses and waiting for the time to file our divorces." He said kissing my lips again, and this time we didn't pull apart, we snogged for another good 30 minutes.

This was the start of a beautiful affair, for once I felt carefree and rebellious, I was living my life the way it should be lived without any regrets. This love was all so very real, it was meant to be, it was what should have been all these years. I finally had found the one, my Soul mate, my love; I would love him to the very day I died.


End file.
